Alright I enjoy your idea but I think you can do better! Try working more with structure within the eye (look up some videos on Youtube or anywhere else in a book) and try to also focus on the entire face it's self even though we are supposed to focus on the eye.
In the end, I see what you wanted to do and I can vision you doing better (no pun intended)! I want to see you grow so I am going to follow your page.
Do not feel as if you need to listen to me, it is just some advice so you can take it or leave it.
Good luck mate!
- JamsArts